Sex

"... is there any greater or keener pleasure than physical love? No, nor any which is more unreasonable."

— Plato

What does some guy who lived thousands of years ago know about sex? Did you, like everyone else, feel as though you were the first one to discover it? Do you figure you've got it all figured out by now? Did you use sex to rebel against parental authority? To have children at a young age? To fill a gap in your life, or a lack within you? To simply take your mind off the rest of your problems? Or to feel good about yourself, to feel like you were really living now? Of course, if something feels that good, how could it possibly not be totally good for you, or lead to any problems? Well, we already know it feels good; we're here to consider the problems. Perhaps you might recognize one of them.

So, here's the first thing to know about sex: sex is not the solution to any problem. And that is true regardless of how the media prefer to program you with the belief that sex is the solution to every problem in life. They perpetuate a very great illusion, a lie; and countless people, especially the young, mistakenly hold that illusion. Sex is not the solution to any problem you have.

We are not saying sex is bad, per se, or wrong. Sex, however, is very often used in the wrong way at wrong times for wrong reasons, and with the wrong people, and produces many wrong or unintended problems (and we are not just talking about an unwanted pregnancy). Sex is like drugs or junk food. Some people imagine they are solving their problems in life by ingesting drugs or junk food; but they can't get enough, because the truth is, it doesn't solve their problems in life. It just helps them to be less aware of them. Eventually, a drug addiction or obesity causes far greater problems in life, issues of disease, dependence, and distress. The same is true for sex. The bottom line is, using something (it could be anything) to take your mind off your problems, to become less aware — and then falling for the lie that having more and more of it will solve all your problems — is a sure way to have your problems grow, not to resolve them. Addiction to anything — including sex — is no solution at all. It is a process of falsely imagining the problem to be the solution or your salvation.

So, what is wrong with being addicted to something that feels good, that is "harmless"? Well, almost all addictions feel good on some level; they provide an illusory comfort by taking away the pain of realizing your weakness and failing. And they are not at all harmless. Addictions — and sex is one of the most destructive — reduce your awareness, magnify your ego, cater to emotion, drain you, pollute you, and make all sorts of self-negating behavior seem "reasonable." This is most unreasonable. Whatever "release" you may think you are finding is merely a temporary release from unremitting pressure; you do not really get free. read more ...

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